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A.P.Chekhonte

Spring Meeting (reasoning)

Boreas changed marshmallows. Wind blows either from the west, not from the south (I Moscow recently, and local points of the compass still quite not understood), blows lightly, barely touching the coat-tails ... Not cold and not so cold that You can safely go in a hat, coat and cane. Frost is not even at night. The snow has melted, turned into a muddy ale, with the murmur of running from the mountains and hills in the muddy ditch, he just did not melt in the alleys and small streets and peacefully resting under trehvershkovym brown, earthy layer and will rest until May ... In the fields, in forests and on the boulevards timidly breaks green grass ... The trees are completely bare, but look out somehow cheerful. The sky is a nice, clean, bright, only occasionally run over clouds and let the earth splashes ... The sun shines so well, so warm and so tenderly, as if would be nice drank, ate a hearty and old friend saw ... It smells of young grass, dung, smoke, mold, all kinds rubbish, steppe and something special then I'll ... In nature, wherever you look, cooking, chores, the endless cooking ... The fact that the spring flies. The audience, which is awfully tired of spending money on firewood, walk in heavy coats and galoshes, ten-, to breathe a harsh, cold, then bath, apartment with air, happily, rapidly and becoming on her toes stretches out his hands toward the flying spring. Spring is welcome, but good right? How do you say? In my opinion, not that too good, and can not to say that too and angry. Whatever it was, but wait for it to look. Poets old and young, best and worst, leaving the time alone cashiers, bankers, railwaymen and horny men, scribbling on the first light is madrigals, praises, welcome odes, ballads and other stihopletnye pieces, singing them all to a single spring beauties ... Sing, as usual, fails (I'm not talking about the present). Moon air, mist, distance, desire, "she" - they come first. Writers also set to poetic way. All satires, invective and the praise begin and end their description of his own feelings, inspired by the approaching spring. Ladies and gentlemen of the ... Will suffer death! Pulse beat them 190 minute, the temperature feverish. Heart full of the sweetest anticipation ... Spring brings with it love, but love brings with it: "How much happiness, how much flour? "In our picture spring keeps Cupids on a string. and bury doing. In love, discipline is necessary, but that it would be if she let down Cupid, gave him, the channel will? I quite seriously man, but to me grace spring smells creeps into my head every hell. I am writing, but his before the eyes of shady lanes, fountains, bird, "she" and all that others. Mother-in-law has already begun looking at me suspiciously, and then the little woman it sticks out the window ... Medical people are very serious people, but they do not sleep peacefully ... Their strangling nightmare and dream of the most seductive dreams. Cheeks doctors, paramedics, Pharmacists burn feverish. No wonder, sir! Over the cities are fetid mists and fogs are composed of microorganisms that produce disease ... Hurt his chest, throat, teeth ... Raffled old rheumatism, gout, neuralgia. Consumptive darkness, several thousands. In pharmacies Crush terrible. Poor pharmacists once or dinner, no tea to drink. Bertoletovu salt, entrusting powder, spices breast, iodine and foolish tooth means literally sell pudami. I write and hear, as in the neighboring pharmacy ring pennies. My Tiffany flux on both sides: freak freak! Small kommersantiki, ssudosberegateli practical lyudoedishki, liquid fists and leaping for joy kachuchu. Spring and their benefactress. Thousands coats go to pawnshops to be devoured by hungry moths. All the warm, yet not ceased to be valuable, rushing to the liquid benefactors. Had not suffered a fur coat in loan, will stay free of summer dresses, will trot out at his dacha in beaver raccoon. For my coat, which is minimum of 100 rubles, I was given a loan in 1932 ruble. Berdichev, Zhitomir, Rostov, Poltava - dirt on the knee. Dirt brown, viscous, stinking ... Passers-by sitting at home and not show his nose into the street: are falling, that will drown the devil knows what. Leave in the mud not only galoshes, but even with socks and boots. Go to the street, if necessary, or barefoot or on stilts, but the best, and do not go. In Mother Moscow must be fair, his boots in the mud will not leave, but in galoshes surely rack. From galoshes be goodbye forever only in very a few places (namely: at the corner of the Kuznetsk and Petrovsky, trumpet and almost in all areas). From village to village not proedesh, you will not pass. Everything is going to walk and rejoice, except for young men and boys. Youth and see for exam spring. Throughout May go for fives and ones. For edinichnikov spring is not a welcome guest. Wait a little, after 5-6 days, a lot a week later, males sing a windows louder, the liquid becomes thick mud, the buds on the trees will fluffy, grass shone everywhere, the sun is stagnant - and spring is established very real. From Moscow irresistibly carts with furniture, flowers, mattresses and maids. Zakoposhatsya gardeners, gardeners ... Hunters will be charged gun. Wait a week, be patient, and yet imposes on your chest strong bandages, so as not out of his breast and your flaming, do not tolerate delay of the heart ... Incidentally, how would you portray on paper spring? In what form? In Formerly it portrayed as a beautiful maiden, showered on the ground flowers. Flowers - a synonym for happiness ... Now other times, other customs, and other spring. We have it shown too little lady. Color does not talk, because there are no flowers and hands in the muff. It would be to portray her scrawny, skinny, skeletal, with consumptive flush, but let it be comme il faut! (1) We do it this concession just because she is a lady.